Common Divorce Myths That Can Lead to Costly Decisions

When facing a divorce, it can be tempting to turn to an internet search or advice from friends and family for answers. The problem is that divorce is highly dependent on individual circumstances, and information that applies to one person may not apply to another.

Misconceptions about attorneys, spousal support, lifestyle and financial planning can also influence important decisions.

Understanding some of these common divorce myths can help you approach the process with more realistic expectations.

Myth 1: You Need the Most Aggressive Attorney You Can Find

People sometimes assume they need a "bulldog" or "shark" representing them in a divorce.

But divorce is ultimately a negotiation toward a settlement. An attorney who is a strong advocate and skilled negotiator may be more valuable than someone whose primary approach is confrontation.

Think of it more like choosing a good chess player than a tackle football player. The objective isn't simply to fight. It's to understand the situation, anticipate what may come next and negotiate effectively on your behalf.

Myth 2: There Is One "Best" Divorce Attorney

There isn't necessarily a single best divorce attorney. There may,
however, be an attorney who is particularly well suited to your
situation. 

Different attorneys can have experience with different issues, including complex custody matters, international assets, business ownership or sophisticated investments. 

Communication also matters. You may be working with this person through a lengthy and difficult process, so consider whether the attorney listens to you, communicates effectively and has experience handling circumstances similar to yours.

A recommendation from a friend or relative can be a useful starting point, but it doesn't necessarily mean that attorney is the right fit for you.

Myth 3: Spousal Support Is Guaranteed Income for Life

A long-term spousal support order doesn't necessarily mean the payments are guaranteed indefinitely.

Spousal support generally depends on the financial circumstances of the person making the payments. A job loss, disability, death, or significant change in income could affect the amount of support or whether it continues.

That makes it important to consider what your finances would look like if support were reduced or stopped. Building a financial Plan can help you prepare for circumstances that may change over time.

Myth 4: You'll Maintain the Same Lifestyle After Divorce

It's understandable to want to maintain the lifestyle you had while married, but the financial realities of divorce can make that difficult.

Divorce generally divides existing financial resources rather than creating new ones. Income that previously supported one household may now need to support two.

There are situations in which sufficient income and assets allow both spouses to maintain a similar lifestyle. In many cases, however, some financial adjustments and difficult choices may be necessary.

Spending more during the divorce in an attempt to establish a higher marital standard of living doesn't create additional resources. It can instead reduce savings and potentially create additional financial complications. 

Myth 5: Your Attorney Will Handle Every Aspect of Your Divorce

Your attorney plays an important role, but that doesn't mean they should be expected to fill every role.
Emotional support may be better provided by a qualified therapist or other appropriate professional. Likewise, an attorney's role is different from that of a financial professional.

An attorney can help determine your legal rights, the assets to which you may be entitled and potential support arrangements. Financial planning involves a different set of questions: Which assets may be most useful to you? What could your cash flow look like after the divorce? Can you afford to keep the house? How should the assets you receive fit into your longer-term financial plan?
Building a team with professionals serving clearly defined roles can help address the legal, emotional and financial dimensions of divorce.

Get Advice Based on Your Circumstances
General information can help you become more familiar with the divorce process, but it shouldn't be confused with guidance tailored to your particular situation.

Your finances, family circumstances, assets and goals may be very different from those of a friend, relative or someone sharing their experience online.

Before making important decisions based on something you've read or heard, consider discussing it with professionals who understand your circumstances. Separating common divorce myths from the realities of your own situation can help you make more informed decisions about what comes next.

This article is based on the Paths Through Divorce podcast episode “Divorce Myths,” from EP Wealth Advisors.

EP Wealth Insights Podcast Disclosure

The speakers featured in this podcast are employees and/or Investment Adviser Representatives of EP Wealth Advisors. The information discussed is provided for educational and informational purposes only and should not be considered personalized investment, financial, tax, or legal advice.

The views expressed are those of the speakers as of the recording date and are subject to change. Investing involves risk, including the possible loss of principal, and past performance does not guarantee future results.

Before making financial decisions, consult your financial, tax, or legal professional. EP Wealth Advisors is a registered investment adviser. For additional information, including our Form ADV, please visit www.epwealth.com.