Paths Through Divorce (3/7): Survivor-Style Divorce

Going through a divorce is a lot like playing the Game Survivor, if you're familiar with that show, if you think about it, it's very similar process You are dropped on an island, it feels like all of a sudden, and you are faced with a different language and you're faced with a bunch of people around you who are saying they are your advocate.

They have your back, they're there to help you, but they also have their own ulterior motives. Your attorney perhaps. you may not have chosen to be on the game survivor, but there you are and you have to navigate all of the different challenges. And it feels like every day there's a new challenge and sometimes the rules change, sometimes the teams change.

and so there's a lot going on. That's a lot like what divorce feels like. Only the difference is instead of your opponent being a complete stranger with a divorce, your opponent is someone who knows you better than anyone else in the world quite. Quite possibly. They know your weaknesses. They know your fears.

They know what keeps you up at night. In addition to [00:01:00] that, instead of a prize of, I don't know if it's a million dollars, I'm not sure what you win on Survivor these days, whatever that prize is, instead of that, what you're playing for is the rest of your financial life and possibly time with your children for the rest of your time.

So a lot of high stakes in this game of survivor. And it's very difficult to know who to trust and who can guide you. I'm Kathy Costas. I'm a financial advisor and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst or CDFA, and I am that guide for my clients through that game of Survivor. I'm an advocate. I educate them along the way and I empower them.

You may be wondering why does anyone need A-C-D-F-A during a divorce process? It's really to be that host, a survivor. It's to be some with someone who's played the game thousands of times, who knows the rule, who is strictly your advocate, who helps you understand what just happened.

What are the. The judge just say in court and why, and also what might be [00:02:00] coming next. What's gonna be the next challenge and how do you best manage it? So A-C-D-F-A is there really with a focus on the financial part of the divorce. I work as a team with the attorney to come up with strategies. To create settlement proposals to evaluate different assets based on their tax liabilities, whether they're capital gains hidden in them, all those different aspects of dividing up assets and what might be best for you.

And I'm the only one in a divorce that actually does a cashflow analysis. So you may have an attorney, you might have a forensic accountant. They're gonna say, okay, here is, here's what you own together. Here's what you owe. We're gonna chop it up, and this is what you're entitled to. But they're not necessarily telling you how much money you're gonna have in your pocket every month going forward.

And also they're not telling you what that asset might be worth. Not only tomorrow after the divorce, but five years, 10 years, 20 years down the road. So working with the CDFA, you're getting divorce financial [00:03:00] planning, which is not what your lawyer's job is to do, or the mediator and it's not what a forensic accountant does as well.

if you've brought one of those into your process. They have other jobs and other roles in the divorce. It's really the CDFA who is the guide through that game of survivor to help you come out, ideally with a strong financial plan where you're set up, you know what's coming next, and then clean up the loose ends afterwards.

You're gonna need a new trust and a state plan. You might need new health insurance. you need to decide what you're gonna do with your home. If you're gonna keep that home, you're gonna need to do a refinance. All of those different. Issues that are not under the purview of your attorney. Those fall on A-C-D-F-A including dividing accounts at investment accounts, retirement accounts, all of those types of things.

So again, as that CDFA, I am that guide through that crazy game of survivor that again, you may not have signed up to play, but [00:04:00] together we get through it in the best way possible.